lindsay

so i was reading someone else's blog this morning and there was a line about the wind giving her goosebumps on her legs...this immediately triggered my memory of a dream i had last night...kind of an odd trigger, but the girl in my dreams had just passed her not-shaving quota. it wasn't like a sandpaper "i haven't shaved yet," but just barely; enough that i could tell, but not disgusting yet...almost....fitting, somehow.

if you haven't already judged from the title...it was lindsay...and i wasn't rubbing against her legs 'cause we were playing pokey either. don't know how it occured or what, but she hits on me, and i end up on the ground (not bed...carpet/sofa maybe?) with her on top of me, kissing me. i tell her i thought i was dreaming, but look around me, become VERY aware of myself and my surroundings...and confirm to myself that this is really happening, and i'm happier than i've ever been.

it's kind of scary that even when i ASKED myself whether or not it was a dream, i couldn't tell. the subconscious is an interesting devil....of course i have to ask myself it was becase of HER that i couldn't tell it was a dream. i mean...that's probably the last thing she would do (i think i scared her off pretty well...d'oh)...so that should've been my first clue. i wonder if i knew, but didn't want to acknowledge it. denial...fun. usually with denial there's always something you KNOW but you don't want to acknowledge...it's kind of scary to think that it could happen without you knowing that you know....know what i mean? i imagine that's how psychopaths feel...they really have no idea what's REAL sometimes...and they just act on what they think is real. madness.

so, upon my rememberence of thsi dream, my heart promptly sank to my stomach and i took a deep breath.

that's just how it goes sometimes...