short'n sweet

i don't remember the dream, but talking about alcohol this afternoon reminded me of it...i mentioned a 7-7 and stopped midsentence because i remembered....

i'd had a dream last night about ordering a 7-7 from a bartender in a tux. that's all i remember.

at least it's a consolation that even in dreams i have good taste ;)

*sip*

ambient noise

so i was in jazz class last week sometime, and there's this IRRITATING fucking chirping coming out of an airconditioner or something in the ceiling....it really is fucking irritating.

either way (the beginning to most dreams...), i fall asleep in class. in my dream, there are these bees...and they make that IRRITATING FUCKING NOISE...obviously a good example of how chang says i'm "never really asleep, or awake....he [i] just exists in this state of...the undead" or something along those lines. i was (as i do often) incorporating real life noises into my dreams. it's kind of scary, actually.

either way, these beens were flying all over the place, and they kept landing on some girl i was standing opposite of....i don't know her. blonde, fair skin, not particularly hot but not ugly. i had the 'friend' type of feeling towards her. either way, she's just stone cold, expressionless. doesn't look scared, amused, or anything...just like she froze with whatever expression she had last as these chirping bees land one or two at a time on her face randomly. i finally ask her if she's okay and she replies, "i'll die if one of these stings me" or something to the same extent....

i wake up...and that noise is still there....

lindsay

i had this dream a few days ago but kind of thought twice about posting it, but i doubt anyone who knows her will read it...

so, if you don't know lindsay, she was my first girlfriend, back in senior year of high school. i'd been head over heels for the girl for five years before that and she finally went for me...and i fell too hard and she bailed. story never ended in my heart...*sigh*

either way, this dream. not sure how it starts, not sure how we ended up together, not sure how the conversation got there, but what i do know was she was dressed up kind of slutt-ish, makeup, hair done, the whole nine yards...(all very hot)....and to that (this is where the conversation was for some reason), i told her,

"but i'll always know who you were" implying (and in my dream feeling like i truly believed it) that she wasn't being herself being all dressed up and decked out and flaunting it. she never wore much makeup in high school. on rare occassions, and even then, light. she was just one of those girls (to me) who were naturally pretty. and at least the last time i saw her (christmas...at a party i threw at my house) she looked as good as ever. i always loved those girls who ddin't need makeup to look good.

either way, when i said that to her, she glared at me with this look (very hard to explain) which said kind of two different things....for one it seemed like "i fucking hate you"...and the other said, "i fucking hate myself"....at the same time if that's possible (i can remember it vividly...did i mention that i like facial expressions?)

at that point she leans in, without hesitation, and kisses me. that initial recoil raged through my head, but i've taken pains to suppress those recoils showing phsyically, and i did....and in the end, after the impulse died down, i only felt one thing.... :

"finally"